Monday, 6 July 2015

Losing a friend

Losing a friend can be hard but losing your best friend? That is worse than a break up. It is strange that things can go so wrong in such a short space of time. I have lost many friends throughout my life; when I left primary school and then when I left high school. I never really had a best friend while growing up, so when I finally found that all-time best friend, I thought I could jump through the roof.

We shared everything with each other. Same music, same food and same taste in guys. She was my anchor and rock. Not a single day went by that we did not talk to each other, so when things between us started to drift apart, you can imagine how I felt.

I get it, she is at uni and has her friends that she has known since primary school, and I have my things going on, but this never stood in the way of our friendship before. I feel utterly lost, like my whole world is going to tumble any second. Every girl needs a best friend and losing the one person you count on the most is totally heart breaking.

I honestly don’t know where things went wrong, we just stopped communicating. We are still friends on Facebook and like each other’s pictures but the communication is gone.  I have tried to talk to her but it just seems like she has just shut down.

Losing a boyfriend is hard but losing your best friend removes a chunk of your soul. I feel like I’m in primary school and the popular girls have taken my best friend away. But how do you get over it, how do you find understanding in losing a friend. Here are some of the ways I am dealing with it, because let’s face it, you can’t cry like you would over a boyfriend. And finding a new best friend is hard.

Be sad

It is never a good thing to keep all the feelings and emotions bottled up inside. Rather have a good cry in the shower or in your room. Mourn the loss of your friend and the friendship you shared. Eat the Nutella and watch the movies you used to together. But once you are done crying, don’t cry about it again.

Write them a letter that you will never send

It is good to get your feelings out in the air, but confronting your friend will just cause arguments. Rather write them a letter telling them how you feel. Let it all go and say the things you want to say. Then take the letter and burn it. Also never run your friend down in front of mutual friends. That is just mean.

Accept that people change

Unfortunately people change. It wasn’t either of your faults that the friendship didn’t work. Sometimes people want different things from life. You have to accept that you or they might have changed. Just be you and the right people will love you for who you are.

Get social

You are going to need to get out there and make new friends. The best way to do that is by joining a club doing something you love and that way will find like minded people. You obviously wont find a best friend but maybe someday someone will fill the void.

These are some of the things that I have been doing. Have you ever lost a best friend? How did you learn to accept that they were gone and move on? 


  1. I've lost many friends over my lifetime due to lack of communication, but I've managed to have my three best high school friends still in my life. I really recommend sending that letter you'll never think they will read - I sent my friend a letter after we'd gone nearly a year barely speaking (and when we did it was awkward) but that letter opened the lines of communication again. We're still working our way back to where we were, but I think it was a great first step. Friendships fall apart when people feel like the other person has moved on and doesn't want anything to do with them anymore, which is usually not the case.

    As far as the friendships I lost, I think I just had to come to realise that they weren't meant to be in my life anymore, otherwise they would be. The ones that ended on a negative I just took as a lesson that needed to be learned so I don't repeat the same mistakes. I like the idea that if your friendship makes it past the 7 year mark, then they're a friend for life.

    Erin |

  2. Thank you for the comment Erin. I will maybe just send her the letter. I hate losing friends because I don't tend to open up to anyone quickly. I agree with your 7 year rule. Have a lovely day.

  3. I'm the same way. I find making friends nearly as tough as losing them! I hope things work out with your friend x


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