Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Choosing one life over another?

Yesterday the internet was divided into two completely opposite sides, and I was already on the anti-side!  The hashtag #ShoutYourAbortion was trending all over the world, and many including myself were totally appalled by this trend. Let me first say that I get where some of the ladies are coming from, especially if you were raped, but doing it because you just didn’t want it that's what makes me angry!

Let me let you into why I feel like this, why I find it hard to deal with, that anyone would make the choice to have an abortion. I was 22, going out with someone (for 4 years) who I thought loved me, and felt like my world was perfect. I was using contraceptive and we were careful but I still got pregnant. I still see the moment before me. Crying my heart out as I walked out of the Dr’s office because I knew that this was either going to make us stronger or break us totally. It took me a week to tell him. And I still remember his face as I told him I was pregnant. But it isn’t the look on his face that haunts me, it’s the exact words that he said, the words that play through my mind every time I look at my son’s face. “I can’t do this. If you want me in your life, you will have an abortion!”  These words will haunt me till the day I die. I always wonder how much longer he would have stayed around if I had had the abortion. I doubt it much longer and I would have lost him and my son. What would have been the point? At least now I have my angel and am a proud single mom!

Before I could even fully digest what he said, I knew there was no way in hell I was going to kill my baby, not for him and not for anyone else. I realise I still had my whole life ahead of me, things I wanted to achieve, but I would have to do it with my child by my side. My son is 5 and I have to admit that it has been a struggle some days but I would never go back and change anything.

I get that if you were raped that you would not want to keep the baby. If I were to be put in that situation, and was raped by a man who I don’t know, I would do exactly the same thing as you. The thought of raising a child born from a sadistic crime would kill me. So yes I understand that. I also understand if you are raped when you were in your teens and fell pregnant. You have your whole school life and all your dreams and ambitions ahead of you. Then I say yes it is ok to have an abortion because you yourself cannot raise the child. I also understand that for medical reasons that an abortion is the only solution, that your life may be in danger, and this is the only way to save your life.

Where I have a problem is with women who are either in a stable relationship or have a means to support themselves, who fall pregnant and then decide that they don’t want it.  Yes I understand and I get that as a women, we are in charge of our bodies and only we can say what happens to our bodies but you are the one who decided to be intimate with your partner. You knew the consequences of your actions. You knew that there might be the chance that you get pregnant. No I am not blaming the women, hell I was in that situation, but you can’t just think of yourself anymore! There is a child growing in you, a life and a human being.

I know we all have dreams and things we want to achieve. I had those same dreams and ambitions but I decided the life inside me was worth more. All those dreams and ambitions are still there and I am achieving them as I go. Yes it has taken me longer but the ride has been more valuable as I get to celebrate my achievements with my son. He is the one who drives me to achieve more and do more! I know of so many amazing women who are mothers and who are still achieving their dreams and who have thriving careers!

If you really don’t want the baby, why not rather give it up for adoption? Do you know how many women out there can’t have children? Who give anything in the world to be able to fall pregnant and experience the feeling of giving birth and raising a child? Women who no matter what they do will never experience that! Why can’t you stop being selfish for once and think about them. What is 9 months? Why can’t you give someone the chance to be a mother, rather than kill an innocent child!

I am not judging anyone and I don’t want to offend anyone with this post, but just as much as these women have a right to choose to abort their unwanted child, I have the right to stand up for unwanted to children and women who can’t fall pregnant!

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