Friday, 15 April 2016


Lately at work things have been really stressful and honestly down right unpleasant. I am not the type to bad mouth anyone or pick at another’s faults but a person can only take so much. We have one lady who is constantly picking a fight and causing drama with everyone else. She will nit-pick about the smallest of details and cannot stand to see the office being a calm and happy place. She also loves to gossip and talk about others.

This has been eating at me and I honestly find it so sad. Sad that this individual gets so much joy out of creating drama and finding fault with everyone. Sad that she needs to talk about others and run them down to validate herself. And this isn’t just aimed at my situation but if I look at our society, women seem to love bringing other women down. Always judging and never building each other up. Always finding fault, being disrespectful and jealous.

I myself used to do this, until I realised that the fault laid with me, and not with other women. It forced me to take a long, hard look at myself and evaluate my own purpose. I learnt that judging other women and talking bad about them, did nothing to them but did everything to me. I didn’t accept myself and wasn’t happy with the way I felt about myself. I needed to learn to love me first. I learnt to accept myself the way I am. Once I had made peace with myself, I realised that I could compliment another women and build them up without detracting anything from me and who I am.

Women of today (young and old) need to take a hard look at themselves in the mirror. We live in a society where men think it is ok to treat us like trash because they see us doing it to other women. They see us hating on other women because that women might not be thin or have the trendiest clothes and they think that it is ok to do that too. This leads to them having even less respect for us because we don’t respect other women and ourselves. As women we need to stop doing that! We complain that men have no respect for us, but it’s the way we treat ourselves and others that makes them have no respect for us. And the only way to do that is to stop with all the negativity and hatred towards each other. 

But the only way you can do that is to make peace with yourself. You need to learn to love yourself. You might not look like a model but you know what? You don’t have too. BE YOU! Be the best version of YOU. Don’t try to look like everyone else. Be unique. Be a lady. Stop with the gossip. And LOVE yourself. We are all ladies and honestly we should all try to act a little more like ladies. Once you can accept yourself for who you are, then only can you see that you don’t need to bring other women down to build yourself up. In turn showing men that we respect each other and that they need to start doing the same too. 

I found a few pieces of valuable advice that I think all ladies should remember. Advice that will help all of us along the way:

What Sally says about Sara, says more about Sally than Sara. (Basically stop gossiping!)

Sincere and non-selfish girl-on-girl compliments are the greatest thing and the mark of a true lady.

Be confident in yourself. To be beautiful, you have to feel beautiful. 

Be kind to unkind people. Then need it the most.

Be ambitious, but not cut-throat. Keep your intergrity.

Tantrums are for toddlers.

Never let anyone disturb your composure, deter your accomplishment, or destroy your happiness.

Cover up. Being a mystery is sexier than showing every inch of yourself off.

Don’t take out your bad mood on others. No one should be punished for being in your company.

Remember that people respond better to politeness than to rudeness. 

It’s not always what you say. It’s also how you say it.

Don’t force your opinions on others. Everyone is entitled to their own.

Value yourself. Doormats are only appreciated by people with dirty shoes.

Be yourself! 

Also remember if you have another woman who is picking on you, disrespecting you and treating you poorly, that the problem lies not with you but with her. She does not value herself enough and needs to bring others down to her level to feel good about herself. You are stronger than she is and don’t you ever drop to her level. Kill them with kindness. Be polite and she will soon realise that she cannot deter your self-worth and confidence. 

What a difference this world would be if we as women started standing together and building each other up rather than tearing each other down and disrespecting each other. I hope that this has struck a note with some and will help us to love each other and ourselves more. You are all beautiful and deserve everything your heart desires. 

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